So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize