it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
