dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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