I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize