just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
