Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
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I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
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WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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