I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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