she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
