i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
