But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
