did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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