and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize