Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
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We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
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I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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