I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
