I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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