need another drink. this is the easiest way
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize
