How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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