Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
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It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
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do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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