Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Congratulations! We have a period
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