Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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