also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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