I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
