the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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