Midget sex pt 2 tonight
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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