I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
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