we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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