the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
