There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
