Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize