Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize