Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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