dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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