I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
