you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
