dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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