i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
