Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
