Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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