For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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