Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
