you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
