check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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