Nicole vs. Life
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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