like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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