she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
