Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
