is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize