so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
3 2 1 whiskey
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
