Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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