Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
