Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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