that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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