Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD