He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
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my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
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Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake