first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he puts the penis in happiness.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Everclear isn't food dammit