is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
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My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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