JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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