I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
