So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
