That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
